The Exultant Anguish of Being: A Christmas Toast

It’s a tough job being human. It’s a painful, difficult venture, this business of of being alive. I don’t notice that any other creature experiences worry or anxiety like we do; but nor do I notice that any creature experiences exultation or joy like we. Other creatures do not seem as eager to destroy themselves as…

Mufflers, Cold Showers, and Gratitude

Years ago, the fleet manager assigned a Chevy Lumina van to me for my work duties. It was a shabby car, and had essentially no muffler. I had to drive that thing about eight miles a day, which was about nine and half miles too many for me. The noise it made was truly miserable, making…

40 Parakeets

On a recent visit to the bird shop to pick up finch seed, I noticed something unusual. “Wow”, I said to the shopkeeper. “That’s quite the supply of parakeets you’ve got today.” The shopkeeper sighed. “One of my breeders called me. ‘You gotta help me out!’ he said. ‘I went on vacation. My wife forgot…

Geddy Lee, worst voice in rock and roll

Our Grand Designs: A Eulogy To Rush

My counselor leafed through the thick manuscript and wriggled her nose to settle her glasses. “So I see you’re a Rush fan. I’ve been reading your — essay– the self-examination you wrote for me… I must say, it’s… original. Entertaining, even. I’ve never read one quite like it. I mean, a screenplay…” I smiled. “I’ve been…

All I Cannot Offer

I was returning from my morning fishing ritual when I came across a badly wounded duck huddled at the edge of the lake. I like an early-morning fish, whenever I get up early enough, which is not often. It’s my favorite time of day, the lake is my favorite place, fishing my favorite pastime. It…